


You know nothing, Lupin

by Erised_Rain



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, M/M, Post-Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-17
Updated: 2014-01-17
Packaged: 2018-01-09 02:32:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1140392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erised_Rain/pseuds/Erised_Rain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus is being helpful, Sirius learns some things and the couch is too small for this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You know nothing, Lupin

**Author's Note:**

> There's some backstory, but it's mostly porn. Swearing, dirty talk, mate dynamics, very eager Sirius and a dominant Remus because, honestly, we all know Sirius needs it.

 

*******************************

_‘Honestly, Sirius, did you really think I wouldn’t fucking notice?  You…hell, you just worry about your fucking self, alright? There’s no point, no logic, god dammit, I don’t need protecting!’_

_‘You have no idea what you need James, you’re…you’re fucking, fucking stupid, you’re going to get your insides spilled all over this fucking place and leave a fatherless child behind because what - you think you have something to prove?”_

_‘So you’re going to do that for me? Get your insides spilled all over the place for me? Fucking generous, you idiot. Sirius Black – the great altruist.'_

_‘Yeah, well, write me a bloody glorious eulogy when I do that and we’ll call it even.’_

_‘How about_   _I beat the living daylights out of you right now? Jesus Christ!’_

_‘Look, James, it’s not even that dangerous, a retarded house-elf could do it. I have all the fucking time in the world and I’m not getting you involved, so why don’t you just sod off and go home to your wife and your kid.’_

_‘It doesn’t, it doesn’t work this way. You have to be careful, you, you can’t risk your life for me, fuck, you’re making a bloody mess out of this.”_

_'Do I look like I care, Potter?'_

_‘If you- Sirius! Don’t you dare walk away from me, Black. Don’t-’_

 

*******************************

 

When Sirius walks in through the door of his flat, with his nose cold and his jacket buttoned up to his chin it is ten in the evening. He is tired and cranky, his chest pulsating with an irresistible urge to smash things or smash James for being so monumentally stupid and an insufferable bastard in general.

It’s not that James couldn’t, it’s not that he isn’t smart and brave and brilliant _,_  Sirius thinks, but there’s a baby now and things are different and bugger all this straight to hell if Sirius is going to let him go and get all fucked up for  _the greater bloody good_.

 “Fucking prick.” he mutters and the narrow hallway agrees.  _  
_

Still pissed off Sirius barely notices the light in the kitchen and the smell of familiar, two-spoons-of-sugar sweet tea. He glances around, a smile creeping up on his face – brown coat hanging in the hallway, mud-dirty shoes next to the door, a small grey suitcase next to them.

“Remus?” Sirius calls, kicking off his boots.

“In here.” A voice answers him from the kitchen and Sirius counts the days. Eleven was it, he hasn’t heard that voice in eleven miserable days.

He finds Remus sitting at the kitchen table, copper-brown hair disheveled, dark circles around his eyes, barely-there blood tainting his cheeks pink.

“Hullo.” he looks up, hiding a smile behind his tea mug as if it is some sort of a secret. And Sirius finds that he cannot speak, his eyes follow the angry edges of a deep welt running from the angle of Remus’s jaw to his neck. He doesn’t know whether to scream at him or slam a fist in his face for being so fucking careless. Perhaps, perhaps he does understand what James was saying after all.

“Looking a little bit peaky, mate.” Remus says in what Sirius recognizes as a lousy imitation of Molly Weasley’s voice.  _Funny_ , Sirius finds himself thinking, y _ou’ve been away for eleven days and that is the best you can come up with, stupid, stupid bastard, you’re the most infuriating person I know, Remus Lupin, and don’t you fucking dare die because of some shit Dumbledore said._

“Still better than you.” he says when the silence stretches for too long. “You look like something that has just emerged from a troll’s dental cavity.”

Remus puts down his mug, still wearing that stupid smile on his stupid face. He’s very good at smiling that way, Sirius concludes. “Is that a popular new greeting, Padfoot? Insults?

“It’s like hello-you-miserable-bastard-please-stop-bleeding-all-over-my-kitchen, only shorter. Latest fashion in posh parts of London. Keep up, Lupin.”

When Remus doesn’t answer Sirius takes off his jacket, tosses it over the nearest chair, and leans back against the linoleum counter. The surface is cold beneath his palms. “So how was it?” he asks, forcibly calm.

Remus just sips his tea, which still isn’t really an answer.

“Bad.” he says finally, eyes fixed on Sirius. “We should have intercepted them, Dolohov and a few others, before the meeting but...Mundungus never redirected the Muggles. Got detained he says. Perfect trap, that, and we’ve fallen right into it. ” There is something in the way Remus’s fingers flex that makes Sirius want to strangle someone.

“How many?”

“Two Muggles.”

“And what about-”

“Thank Merlin, no. Fabian got hit with some sort of a Blasting curse but the healers say he’ll recover. ”

“Good.” Sirius dares to breathe. “Mundungus! My fucking mother would have been more reliable than Mundungus! I’ve told you, haven’t I, everything that idiot touches turns into a bloody fucking disaster.”

Remus shrugs, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.  _Let me_ , Sirius thinks suddenly.

“So. How about you?” asks Remus.

 _I had a fight with James, eggs and bacon for breakfast, I think I’m losing my mind, we’re out of coffee, can I fuck you?_  “Fun all around” he answers.

Remus sighs, heavy and tired, wrinkles around his bruised-amber eyes sinking deeper into his skin. “I know what you’ve been doing, Sirius, Kingsley told me. Excessive bravery, even when it’s for the sake of friends is not-”

“Oh well, if  _Kingsley_  told you.” Sirius hisses. ”Delving into the realms of gossiping now, Lupin? You’ll fit the role of a house-wife perfectly one day.” Venom tastes good at the back of his tongue but it seems it has no effect on Remus.  _Oh hell this again_ , thinks Sirius. This is so bloody typical. The way Remus Lupin looks at him, like  _that_ , because Remus Lupin always knows best doesn’t he?  _But not now, not this time._

“You do realize how reckless that is don’t you?” he says, “It’s just counterproductive and you can’t-“

“ _Shut up_!” Sirius snaps, voice scraping at his throat. “Don’t you tell me what I can and what I can’t do. I’m not a fucking child!”

“I’m well aware of that, thank you.” Remus closes his eyes, taking a sip which is,  _god_ , so infuriating because if they’re going to have a fight now, Sirius thinks, drinking tea is so fucking inappropriate. “Perhaps it’s time you stop acting like one.”

“Oh good, Remus Lupin is giving out advice. You better stand in line, children!” Sirius mocks and Remus stands up, long fingers curling carefully around the porcelain of his mug.

“Look, Sirius, I don’t have the strength or the nerves to indulge you in your petulant Black routine. How about you try not to be a prick for a change?”

Sirius huffs. “I'm trying. I'm just failing.”

“Valiant attempt,that.” There’s a hint of a smile on Remus’s lips.

“Ta, it means a lot." Sirius says dramatically. "As Lily once said - I’m desperate for validation.” 

“A smack upside the head more like it.” Remus grins, taking a few steps across the kitchen which brings him closer to where Sirius is standing. Sirius’s grip on the linoleum counter tightens reflexively.

“Feisty werewolf.” snorts Sirius, teeth bared.

“You have no idea.” Remus murmurs, leaning over Sirius's arm to leave his mug in the sink - the action that somehow ends up with his fingers brushing Sirius’s wrist, for a moment too long.  Sirius’s body seems to squirm automatically and Remus eyes him carefully.

“You’re uncomfortable with me.” he says, slowly.

“No.” Sirius answers, words coming out rushed and a little breathless. “You just reek of blood and Mundungus’s vomit.”

“Right. “ Remus’s eyes narrow, very slightly. “I thought it was because of the sexual tension.”

Sirius bites down an embarrassing sort of whimper. He breathes in. And out.

“There is no sexual tension.” is apparently the wittiest response his brain can think of.

“Yeah, none of that then.“ Remus murmurs then turns around. “Well, goodnight Padfoot.  ”

And Sirius has no idea what an appropriate reply to that is.

 

*******************************

 

Sometime around four in the morning the city of London falls asleep.

Sirius is still awake, sitting on the brown-checkered couch in the eerie darkness that is his living room. Peace is an elusive bastard tonight and it is funny, Sirius thinks, the way furniture looks vaguely ominous, reduced to the dark silhouettes permeated with November breeze sneaking in through the cracks in the window. He stubs out the half-smoked cigarette and nearly falls off the couch when the tallest silhouette, the one near the door, moves revealing a slender figure of Remus Lupin in the most hideous pair of flannel pajamas that the world has ever seen.

“Jesus Christ! You can’t sneak up on a bloke like that, almost gave me a heart-attack.” he frowns and Remus’s smile shines silver in the patch of light from the streetlight outside.

“Can’t sleep?” asks Remus, crossing the room in a few slow steps. He lights a small lamp on the table with the flick of his wand and the white spills across the walls.

 _Obviously, and your presence here is not helping at all_ , Sirius is thinking. But when he opens his mouth condescending tone flows out easily, sarcasm perfectly curled around the edges of his words. “No, it’s just one of my kinks - sitting in the dark, developing a lung cancer, contemplating the meaning of life, global warming and stock trading prices.”

“Hmm, I have to admit I didn’t know about that one.”

 “There are many things you don’t’ know.” Sirius scoffs.  _Because I’ve never told you properly._

“Now that’s a vast understatement, there. I know a lot more than you think I do.” Remus whispers, voice sounding tired and twenty years older than him. He sits next to Sirius, a rustling sound, a creak of old couch-springs, so close that their thighs are touching and their arms are touching. Remus is still warm from the sleep, radiating, and Sirius shivers.

“Cocky much?” he sneers.

“Not really, no. Just honest.”

“You don’t know shit, Lupin.” Sirius repeats, sound that sinks in the shadows around them.

Remus sighs heavily, hesitatingly, as if he’s contemplating whether or not to answer. “Oh but I do.”  he says finally.

“I know you’re scared shitless. Worried about James, Lily, Peter. About Harry. About  _me_.” Remus continues, so quiet, low, that Sirius wouldn’t even hear it if Remus’s mouth wasn’t an inch away from his ear, breathing hot and slow against his skin.  _What the hell are you doing, why,_  he wants to ask but thinking seems impossible now so he settles for wondering if Remus can feel his heart thumping wildly in his rib cage.

“Fuck you.” Sirius breathes, barely audible, hands in his lap clenching into fists. His eyes snap shut as Remus presses his lips to the soft shell of Sirius’s ear, merely a light touch, the briefest of moments, before he buries his nose in Sirius’s hair and breathes in deep. It occurs to Sirius, thanks to whatever mental capacity he has left, that this is a wolf thing. He’s being scented, and if a low growl that just escaped Remus’s throat is anything to go by, Remus likes it.

“I know you haven’t slept in days. You’re exhausted, confused, tearing at the seams. And you’re-  now… _oh,_ Sirius, I can smell it all over you. But god help me, infuriatingly stubborn. Stupid, stupid because whatever I say, whatever James says you won’t stop, will you? Will you?” Remus keeps muttering into his hair.

It’s so hot in the room now, and Sirius can’t move, his body is burning wherever there is contact between him and Remus. And sweet fucking Merlin, Sirius is hard, so  _achingly_  hard, and he thinks there is not a chance Remus can’t smell that.

“I know, “ Remus lets out a shaky breath, fingers stroking across Sirius's belly before they travel up to clutch at his shirt collar. “I know that you’ve been watching me. I can feel it. I can feel  _you_ , every day, in this entire flat, on my clothes even when I’m not here…Sirius, the world is fucked up out there, I was almost killed in Brighton yesterday and all I could think about was you, how I won’t get a chance to… God, you’ve been making this difficult. Was waiting for you to, so long, but you’re not, you’re not-“ Remus is mumbling non-sense which Sirius, logically, knows is non-sense but it goes straight to his cock nonetheless and his breath hitches when Remus runs his thumb across his lips, coaxing them apart. He licks the tip of Remus’s thumb, a subconscious movement more than anything else, and tastes toothpaste and soiled earth. Remus’s breath comes out on a sort of gasp.

“Mmm, you smell so good, Sirius. So fucking good. ” His almost too sharp canines are scraping against Sirius’s jaw, and it occurs to Sirius that he must look ridiculous now, shivering and almost fucking  _wailing_ , with a raging hard-on in his pants and an inability to form a simple bloody sentence. Remus must be thinking the same because, with his fingers working on Sirius’s buttons, he croaks “Talk to me, Sirius. Say something.”

Perfectly reasonable request when you’re about to strip the shirt off your best mate, who seems to be having a severe mental break-down.

“I have,” Sirius manages finally, willing his body to move as he curls his fingers around Remus’s neck, tugging him closer. “I have some, ah  _pressing_ problems. Perhaps if you took care of those I could consider talking.”

Remus growls at that, hauling Sirius into his lap and  _fuck_ , he is rock-hard, Sirius’s can feel it against his thigh; Remus is hard because of  _him,_   _for_  him _,_  which is a thought that makes his head dizzy.

“You’re-“ Sirius stammers.

“Yeah.”

Then they’re kissing, messily, eager, feral. The kiss feels like a claim, possessive and  wild, and Sirius doesn’t realize he’s being undressed until he feels Remus’s sweaty palm on the small of his back, skin-to skin,  _scorching_. 

Sirius is a great kisser, he has years of experience and pleased partners to attest to that, but he’s no match for Remus who is all teeth and tongue and bites and fast and strong and now. When he breaks the kiss, breathing heavily, Sirius makes a sulky sort of noise and rocks his hips forward,  _come-on-don’t stop-fuck-don’t-stop_  rhythm humming through his body.

“Are you sure? Do you, do you you want this?” Remus manages, pupils blown wide.

“You’re not seriously asking me that right now?”

“Just answer me, Sirius. Words, please. I’m not going to be able to stop later.”

“Then don’t.” Sirius huffs exasperatedly. “Yes, fuck  _yes_ , I want this, I want you. Come on!” he rocks his hips again. Remus groans, a shudder running through his body, which Sirius can bloody feel vibrating through his own blood too.

He suddenly knows exactly what he wants which is weird because, yes, of course he has been thinking about having sex with Remus, wanked himself silly thinking about it, but he never thought there would be such an  _instinctual_  feeling to it. Sirius figured that if they were ever to shag he would be the one to top because  _come on_ , it’s fairly logical isn’t it. Remus is quiet and shy and has god-damned  _freckles_ , and Sirius…well, Sirius is mighty and unshakable Sirius Black, practically radiating control and  _dominance_.

Bollocks that. Because it’s nothing like that now,  _nothing._

Sirius is sweating and shaking and he doesn’t know what this feeling is, but he thinks he might just claw out of his skin if he doesn’t feel Remus  _inside_  him right now. His hips are moving on his own accord, searching friction wherever he can find it and, fuck, it’s not nearly enough;  he needs Remus to take him,  fill him up, fuck him,  _claim_  him. The intensity of the feeling is almost terrifying, and Sirius doesn’t even know where these thought are coming from. “I want you, inside me. Now, bloody now. Get these off.” he breathes, tugging at the hem of Remus’s pajamas.

“ _Shit_! Ah! Don’t say things like that! You have no idea, no idea...” Remus moans, grip on Sirius’s hips tightening and in one quick movement he lowers Sirius down on the couch, rolling him on his back before almost ripping off his own shirt in haste. The couch is too small for this, too small for two grown men to even sit on it but Sirius barely notices this because he can’t take his eyes off Remus’s flushed face, his silver-flecked chest, his arms, the way his biceps tremble, the way the concave of his stomach goes up and down, up and down as he breathes.

Sirius has a funny joke about werewolves and too-small couches, but he doesn’t have time to say it because Remus is on him in an instant, sucking at his collarbone none too gently. It’s going to leave a mark, Sirius thinks, but thinking about it makes him even hotter and he whimpers, bringing his hands up to Remus’s shoulders and spreading his legs to let him close.

Oh, he should really be playing harder to get now but he doesn’t have a mind to play games. Remus’s weight on top of him is so  _good_  and Sirius’s hips are twitching desperately as he tries not to rut and squirm, feeling how hard Remus is just a few layers of fabric away from him.

“Patience Sirius, patience. Soon, I promise.” Remus says, taking Sirius’s nipple in his mouth, working it with his teeth and tongue at the same time as his hand travels down to open Sirius’s jeans. ”Patience.”

“Which is a skill I –  _ah_  - lack of.” his toes curl ecstatically as Remus manages to shove his jeans down his hips, together with his underwear. And yes,  _god_ , finally, Remus’s fingers are on his cock, tight and perfect and Sirius arches into his touch; swearing, moaning, whispering words that barely make sense.

“So you’ll learn.” Remus says, one hand on Sirius’s shoulder, pressing him down. “You’re a smart boy.”

“And what, you’re going to teach me?” Sirius sucks in a breath, looking at Remus with what he hopes is a challenging smirk.

“I can teach you a lot of things.” Remus’s voice is fucking  _obscene_ , and who would have thought?  _Proper little prefect. Utter bloody rot,_ Sirius thinks. He tries to push into his hand but Remus stops him and Sirius raises his head to glare at him in protest. “Ah-ah, none of that yet. Eyes down, Sirius.“ Remus just smirks.

So Sirius obeys, vaguely thinking that maybe he should have at least protested a little.

And to hell goes that thought when Remus leans down and catches Sirius’s mouth in a kiss, faster and rougher than before. “Oh my god. “ Sirius manages, against his lips. “Remus, fucking hell, Remus, just, just  _do_  it.” he thrusts, and can feel himself leaking, precome shining silver on the tip of his cock. Fuck, this will not last long, that much is clear, and Sirius makes a mental note to have a word with his treacherous body later.

“Yes, God, yes.” Remus gasps into Sirius’s mouth, thumbing over the slit of Sirius’s cock. "You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this.” he murmurs and Sirius feels absolutely giddy to see that Remus's eyes are hooded now, his teasing rapidly faltering. He breathes Sirius again, fingers travelling behind his balls, touching softly the little stretch of dark skin there.

Sirius arches, barely registering the words coming out of his mouth. “I've wanted to strip you out of these ridiculous, shit-coloured pajamas since the day you ended up in the Hospital wing because you hexed Jacobson and the spell backfired.”

“I remember, seventh year.” Remus laughs shakily.

“Sixth.”

“Oh.” Remus hums. “And it’s not shit-coloured. It’s called brown.”

“Whatever.”

Then Sirius forgets how to speak for a while. Remus’s lips are soft but demanding, his stubble is rough and scratching Sirius’s skin, his voice unsteady when he whispers ‘ _I’ll make it good I promise. I won’t hurt you. I’d never hurt you. Too precious. Beautiful. Mine.’_  against Sirius’s shoulder.

Sirius just whimpers, not being able to parse that one, trying to keep his breathing still which is fucking impossible because it seems like every nerve ending in his body is on fire, and the way Remus teases him with his fingers, lightly, moving and touching and circling without pushing in, is just a bloody torture. And then the tip of Remus's finger works into Sirius's opening and Sirius arches, biting Remus's shoulder.

“If you’re trying to drive me insane it’s working, but if you’re trying to fuck me I’d suggest you- _ah!_ “ he chokes as Remus pushes in one finger, all the way, deep and steady, and Sirius’s body tenses. The intrusion is pleasant however, and Remus really knows what he’s doing, pushing his finger in and out, confidently, carefully, slowly at first and then faster until Sirius squirms, eager for more.  _How many people have you done this to?_  Sirius wonders. But Remus is watching him in a daze, his eyes rake over Sirius’s body and it’s too good, too good that Sirius has to squeeze his eyes shut.

“Sirius.” Remus growls. “Look at me.” 

So Sirius does.

“Are you enjoying this?”

“Yes. Yes.” Sirius pants.

“Does it feel good?”

“Fucking incredible.”

“Because of this?” His finger twists, brushing that spot that makes Sirius arch and moan so loud that the cocker-spaniel next door starts to bark.

“N-no. Because it’s  _you_.” Sirius manages and he has no idea where the words are coming from, what they mean, but he knows they’re true.

“Sirius!  _Fuck_ , it’s-” Remus hisses, working in another finger inside Sirius. Sirius never hears what  _it_  is but that’s okay because he’s fairly certain he wouldn’t understand that either. He supposes it wouldn’t have been much coherent anyway and besides, he has more important problems now - like for example the embarrassing way his body is responding to Remus. Remus’s taste, Remus’s smell, Remus's kisses, the sounds he makes, even this cock-teasing show of his make Sirius crazy with the want to just open his legs wider, wrap them around Remus’s waist and get him closer,  _deeper_.

Perhaps Remus is able to sense that because he leans down, nosing against Sirius’s jaw, breathing in deeply.  His fingers keep moving, probing deep, deep, until Sirius’s breathing is ragged and he’s pushing down on Remus’s hand frantically.

“Shh.” whispers Remus, teeth catching Sirius’s lower lip. “Almost there.” he says, and  _yes_ , there’s the third finger, teasing around Sirius’s hole, testing. When he pushes it in, Sirius cries out. It’s uncomfortable at first, painful, almost too much, too big, but it’s also good and Sirius’s fists grip the fabric of the couch. Remus keeps planting open-mouthed kisses on Sirius’s skin, whispering praises in his ear, hot and genuine. Slick fingers are drawing in and out skilfully, so much faster now, and Remus’s other hand finds Sirius’s cock, stroking it until the discomfort transforms itself into pleasure again, until Sirius begs for more.

“So good, Sirius, so good.” Remus murmurs, just as flushed and dazed as Sirius feels, scissoring his fingers, stretching him, slow and careful. Merlin, it hits Sirius suddenly,  _he’s being worked open by Remus Lupin’s fingers_! But before his brain can linger on the exhilarating perversity of that thought, Remus pulls him in for a brief and soft kiss which makes Sirius’s entire body hum. He digs his nails into Remus’s shoulders, into his back, wherever he can reach, clenching his muscles around Remus’s fingers at the same time.

Then the intrusion is gone and Sirius whines protesting, suddenly feeling empty. He cranes his neck up to see Remus getting rid of his pajama bottoms and his y-fronts. Sirius has to bite his lip as he gazes down at Remus’s cock which is thick and hard and perfect, almost too big, Sirius thinks briefly. The tip of it is covered in precome and Sirius fights the sudden urge to taste it. But that is not what they’re going to be doing right now, maybe, maybe later.

Remus grins at him, predatory and pleased before reaching for his wand and murmuring something that makes his fingers wet and shiny, promising. Sirius shudders in anticipation, acutely aware that Remus’s eyes never leave his face as he spreads the lube over his length. Oh  _Merlin_ , Sirius wants to remember this forever because Remus looks positively  _wrecked_ , flushed and frantic, out of his mind with arousal. All of his carefully cultivated, bookish grace is gone by this point and it's  _gorgeous_ , breathtaking. Sirius can't get enough of him like this.

“I won’t hurt you," Remus is saying again, pulling Sirius’s legs up over his shoulders.

“I know.” says Sirius because, fuck, he knows, his body knows. His hips jerk violently when he feels the tip of Remus’s cock against his entrance. There’s a low growl somewhere deep in Remus's chest and he stops, breathing raggedly.

“Sirius, listen, listen to me.” he says “I am going to fuck you now.”

“No shit. Really.” Sirius hisses, because he’ s desperate for it now and Remus just bloody wants to talk. ”I thought we were going to knit jumpers.”

“No, look. When I do that, if I, if I come inside you, it won’t be just sex.” Remus’s eyes are soft now, worried, hesitating perhaps.  _Hell no_ ,  _don’t you dare stop now_ , Sirius is thinking.

“Fine, I’ll buy you fucking flowers, chocolate, bouquet of raw meat, whatever, if this is about sentimentalities. Now please stop talking and move already.” Sirius whines and there’s a light grin on Remus’s face.

“So testy.” he murmurs, tilting his head to press a wet kiss to Sirius’s calf.

“So fucking boring.” retorts Sirius.

“Listen to me now, Sirius.” he says, words firm, command coloring the edges of his tone, and he pins Sirius down with his hand when he tries to move. “If that happens, we’re going to…If I came inside you I’d be claiming you as mine. A  _mate_ , Sirius. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Sirius swallows hard. He thinks this is all rather unfair, being forced to decrypt the meaning of the words coming out of Remus’s mouth in a situation like this.

“Mate?”

“Yes, you’re my…there’s a bond between us, Padfoot, I don’t know how to explain that but I knew it from the moment I met you, when we were eleven. I could smell it even then, even though I didn’t know what it meant, and I can smell it now, all the time. It’s all over you, I can feel it,  _constantly._ ” Remus says quietly and Sirius can feel shallow, involuntary motions of Remus’s hips. “It’s been driving me insane, Sirius.”

“Oh.” Sirius says because that’s as intelligent as it gets.

“Of course, if you don’t- I mean, we’re not going to do that obviously.” Remus continues, clearly aiming for casual but failing miserably.” Don’t worry, I’m going to pull out before it happens.”

Sirius lets the words sink in. To be perfectly honest, he thinks he probably already knew it, but he's never been able to express it in plain English. The closest he got to expressing it was on the nights of the full moon, when the world wasn’t so complicated and nuzzles and licks and playful bites could convey much more powerful messages than words. But Sirius knows, he understands. Remus is the one, he’s the only one. And he fights the urge to laugh now because this is ridiculous, they’ve been idiots, god, for all these years.

“I don’t want you to.”  he says carefully.

“Sirius.”

“No, I get it, we shag now and then for the rest of our lives we get to do that, only with each other yeah? Stop me when I get to the bad part. Oh that’s right, there is none.” he grins but Remus isn’t convinced.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” he says.

Oh but Sirius knows, and it is true, he wants it, he wants everything from Remus.

“I always know what I’m talking about, Lupin, even when your cock is frustratingly nudging at my arse.” he rolls his eyes, because Sirius is Sirius, regardless of the situation. “Look, I can feel it too. It’s like I belong with you, yeah? Been like that for a long time but something has been missing to make it, you know,  _official_. It’s a fucking weird feeling but it’s there.” he explains and Remus shuts his eyes, breathing raggedly.

“Sirius. Fuck.”

“Since your eloquence is down to one-word sentences I assume we’re done with the semantics?”

Remus nods.

“Good. Now, come on. I want this, I need this.  _Please_ , Remus.” he croaks and then a loud moan echoes through the room as Remus  surges forward, pushing deep, so deep inside Sirius in one single thrust. And it hurts, god, it hurts, his body is being stretched to its limits but it also feels incredible, Sirius is so  _complete_ , so full that he can’t breathe.

He is vaguely aware that his hips will have Remus’s-fingers-shaped bruises tomorrow and that his muscles will scream when the levels of his hormones drop down, but that’s all so insignificant because Remus is buried deep inside Sirius, shaking, trying to catch his breath. “Oh Sirius, so tight, so hot. Merlin, I wish I could explain. Ah.”

“I don’t want explanations Lupin, just an orgasm. More than one preferably.” he huffs wondering how the hell he can speak now, let alone joke.

“Cheeky bastard. Let’s see if I can shag you into silence hmm?” Remus cocks an eyebrow, beads of sweat gathering above his upper lip.

And bugger all, if that isn’t the  _hottest_  thing Sirius has ever heard.  Who knew Remus was anything like this? “Blimey, Moony. Such a dirty, dirty mouth you have underneath all that feigned innocence.”

“One of my many secret talents.” Remus hums. “Perhaps I could be persuaded to show you all of them one day.”

“How about you start right now?”

 “Haven’t you heard, Black, impatience killed the dog?”

“Not before it got him laid, I hope.” says Sirius, choosing not to comment on Remus’s vastly inappropriate interpretation of the famous saying.

 “I can arrange that.” Remus laughs shakily. “Ready?”

“God, yes! Do it.”

That’s all encouragement Remus needs. He makes a few experimental thrusts that make Sirius see stars and when he picks up the pace, setting up a fairly quick rhythm, Sirius gets lost in the blur of sensations and mixed sounds of his gasping and Remus’s words, rumbling rough and rich against Sirius’s skin. He keeps responding to every movement Remus makes, letting him drive in deep, shoving back hard against every thrust.

“Harder, harder, please. Fuck,  _ah_.” he sobs or screams, he isn’t sure. The tension in his body is quickly progressing, building up, near culminating and, fuck it, all too soon he’s so close, so close. Remus answers with a snarl that sounds barely human and the force of his next thrust shoves Sirius deep into the couch.

“You’re sure? You want me to-? Hard? You want it hard?”

“Jesus Christ, I said so didn’t I? Move, Moony, go.”

And then all finesse is lost and Sirius is being fucked into the couch, into next week, fucked by a werewolf, violently, wildly, brutally. When Sirius imagined how the sex with a werewolf would look like of course he didn’t expect it to be gentle and slow but this is so far, far from what he imagined, because Remus is literally claiming him, marking him. He presses Sirius’s legs higher, pulls out then drives back in, frantically, and Sirius knows he won’t be able to sit tomorrow, let alone walk. Which apparently doesn’t bother him (or Remus) one bit.

Remus bites the inside of Sirius’s calf, digs his fingers into the soft flesh of Sirius’s hips, sends violent explosions all over his body whenever he hits that spot and god, his hips are snapping uncontrollably, the force of his thrusts leaving Sirius breathless.

It feels  _good_ , it feels  _perfect_  and Sirius can’t tell where his body ends and Remus’s begins and he likes it this way, he feels warm and wanted, complete, like he is  _belonging_  to someone, so thoroughly, so uniquely. He has no idea how long this lasts but when Remus drops to his elbows the angle changes, and Sirius is  _coming_ , without warning, panting and dizzy, blind by the force of the most intense orgasm he has ever had. Muscles of his thighs clench wildly and he feels the hot wetness spilling over his belly, over Remus fingers, as he strokes Sirius through it.

This is a thing for Remus apparently because, even though Sirius’s body is overstimulated, he feels the change of rhythm, hard and fast, harder and faster, harder and faster, and Remus is driving into him, bringing his own fingers to his mouth, tasting Sirus’s come, gasping for air.

“ _Fuckfuckfuckfuck_. Sirius. So good, mine.  _Mine_.” He keeps pouring out words and disjointed syllables which Sirius can hardly understand, busy concentrating on the elusive act of breathing. But he can see that Remus’s eyes are glassy, flashing liquid- gold, like always when the full moon is close but this time, this time it isn’t because he has the urge to kill and bite and rip things apart.

A handful of heart-beats later Remus’s thrusts become jerky and erratic and as soon as an animalistic growl fills the room Sirius arches, swearing. There’s a wild rush of heat inside him, filling him up, wet and perfect, making his brain shut down completely. Remus shudders violently through his orgasm, sobbing Sirius’s name and when he’s done he easies Sirius’s legs down and pulls them around his waist. Then he collapses on top of Sirius like every bit of his energy has been drained out of him.

“Alright, it’s alright.” he says soothingly. He pets Sirius’s hair, presses a soft, lazy kiss on Sirius’s cheekbones, his nose, across his lips, mumbles something vaguely coherent to the crook of Sirius’s neck.  “You were good. You’re perfect, Sirius. I have you, I’d do anything for you, you know that don’t you.”

“Yeah, I know.” Sirius smiles because he knows, and it  _is_ alright, it feels so right. “You better after you just buggered me like that.” he licks the tip of Remus’s nose playfully and Remus laughs.

By the time their breathing calms down Remus’s head is tucked under Sirius’s chin and Sirius has his hands wrapped around Remus’s back.

“Well.” Sirius breathes, feeling something warm bubbling in his chest. “When can we do this again?”

Remus laughs lightly, a warm puff of breath against Sirius’s skin. “In a few minutes if you’re up for it.”

“Definitely.” Sirius murmurs, sleepily. Remus might be able do to it again in a few minutes but Sirius isn’t a werewolf and perhaps he could use half an hour of sleep first. This whole mating thing, he thinks, does take a lot of energy.

“Moony?”

“Hm?” Remus mumbles, nosing gently at the place where Sirius’ collarbone meets the curve of his shoulder. “Shh Padfoot, sleep now.”

“You’re. You’re still inside me.” Sirius points out, the master of stating the obvious things.

“Yeah,” Remus hums softly. “I can pull out if you want.”

“Mmm no, not yet.” Sirius says, close to dozing off. “Not yet. But you’re cleaning the mess. Since, well, mostly your fault.”

“Fair point.”

 

*******************************

 

Three days after that Remus goes to Perth.

Sirius still tries to keep James away from as many missions as he can.

A month later it’s Birmingham and a pack of werewolves that, as Dumbledore says, ‘are willing to join the cause.’

Sirius ends up with a nasty scar on his left calf when they stumble upon a Deatheater meeting. Some unknown curse, the healers tell him.

Canterbury, Bangor, Portsmouth.

Muggle attacks, mass murders in the outskirts of London.

Nothing changes but all is different.

Sometimes they fuck desperately, frantic, pinned against the wall after days of being apart, sometimes they reach for each other in the dark, sweaty tangle of limbs and destroyed sheets, as they convince  themselves they’re alive and ‘ _shh, sleep, it’s just a bad dream’_ , sometimes it’s surprisingly soft, reverent, the intimate, slow push and pull of their bodies, sometimes they just lie together, only touching, feeling each other with their fingertips and their lips, whispering words that barely make sense.

Sirius loves all of it, loves every single moment, no matter how brief it is, when he has Remus warm and safe next to him, and he knows that he’s an utter fucking nance but when Remus huffs a warm breath over his skin and whispers ‘I have you.’ it doesn’t matter.

And when Remus says  ‘I’m leaving tomorrow, again. A week, I think, maybe more.” and Sirius says ‘So you’ll be back. Be careful, yeah?’ Remus smiles, kisses the corner of his lips and says ‘I always come back, don’t I? Some things here are, after all, mine.”

 


End file.
